Change Your Thoughts

Change your thoughts and you can lift yourself to a new and happy life. New thought patterns are your passport to overcoming porn addiction or other sexual addictions. This is the key to converting the vast time and energy you spend on destructive things into positive and worthwhile pursuits.

First, what keeps an addiction or negative thoughts alive is feeding it. You feed it by thinking about it, by “giving place” in your mind for it.

The role of your patterns of thought in the things that you do is described by E. D. Boardman:

Said another way, who you are (your character) is determined by your habits (your oft repeated acts). To change yourself, you must change your habits. You can change your habits by changing your thoughts.

And said one more way, “As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) You are what you think about.

Recovery from sexual addiction, then, has to do first with changing your patterns of thought. So, you first change your thoughts. Then, the acts and habits of viewing internet porn, masturbating, etc. can be eliminated.

Sounds simple enough. But how do you go about changing your patterns of thought?

The Law of Displacement

Let me illustrate by telling you about a man I’ll call Bill. He came in to see me because he really wanted to quit his sexual addiction. He had a pornography problem and acted out by masturbating.

Bill was tired of his yo-yo experiences of quitting and starting, over and over. He admitted that he had trouble keeping his thoughts in the right places.

First, I commended him for his desire to change and reassured him that he could change and leave this addiction behind him. After all, many have quit their addictions, and he could too. (And from a religious standpoint, I reassured him that the forgiveness he sought from God was readily available because God is willing and anxious to forgive those who put their trust in Him and change their hearts—with His help, of course.)

Next, I wanted to teach him the fundamental law of change, the law of displacement. I pulled out a clear drinking glass and asked, “Bill, let’s suppose I pour water into this glass to here.” I pointed to half way. “How would you describe this glass of water?”

“Well,” Bill said, “I’ve seen this before, so I know you probably want me to say that the glass is half full instead of saying it’s half empty.”

“Good observation, but it’s not accurate. The glass is full.” He looked at me kind of funny. I asked him, “If it’s really full, and I assure you it is, what could it be full of?”

“I guess it’s full of water and air.”

“Good! You’re absolutely right. Saying that it’s half full isn’t accurate unless you say it’s half full of water. You could also accurately say that it’s half full of air.”

I then explained that in reality the glass is always full of something. If nothing else is in it, it’s full of air. Here’s where the law of displacement comes in. If you want to replace the air, you have to pour something else in, like water. In other words, you displace the air with water. Both can’t be in the same place at the same time.

The glass is like your mind. If what’s going on in your mind are thoughts involving your sexual addiction, then you need to change your thoughts. How? You must displace those thoughts with different ones—good, worthwhile thoughts not at all associated with sexual fantasies, etc.

So, your sexual addiction is the air in this example. It’s what seems to automatically be in your mind. The key is to pour into your mind living water—thoughts that will uplift and redirect you to more positive actions and habits.

Pouring in good, clean water takes positive action. Unless you do, your mind will always be full of air—your unwanted thoughts surrounding your sexual addiction.

The Wrong Kind of Thoughts

For example, repeating “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” simply maintains in your mind the thoughts of the actions you’re trying to eliminate. It serves to reinforce your unwanted sexual behavior.

The Right Kind of Thoughts

• family – your spouse, children, parents, brothers and sisters


• friends – those others that you love and appreciate; your feelings toward them


• faith – your beliefs, your feelings toward God and His blessings to you


• work – what you enjoy doing


• hobbies – your positive leisure pursuits


• your noblest desires – what you feel drawn to do when you feel best about yourself and your abilities

If you think about what uplifts you, and if you make a good list of specific, positive thoughts and actions, you’re on your way. Keep the list close to you at all times and review it often. This will begin to change your thoughts and establish new patterns of thought.

A Game Plan

Here’s a game plan that really works, a proven plan that can set you up to win. You or your loved one can be on the road to a new life today.