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Overcoming Sexual Addiction

The path to overcoming sexual addiction begins with establishing correct patterns of thought and replacing the time and energy spent on harmful habits with more productive and happy pursuits.

Why people become addicted to sex, how it starts, and the results of sexual addiction is covered in another article. Click here for more details about Sexual Addiction.

Getting Started

A good place to begin overcoming sexual addiction is identifying the person responsible for it.

At some point in your life, you were exposed to the idea of engaging in some kind of sexual conduct. It may have started innocently through some natural circumstance. You may have been introduced to it at the hands of a friend, maybe even at the hands of a conniving person.

However it started, one thing led to another. At some point your behavior extended beyond normal, healthy human sexuality. Gradually it evolved into what it is today. Click here for more about normal, healthy sexuality.

Here’s the point: however it happened and whoever else was involved, you were faced with a decision to do something or not do something. That choice was the beginning of your addiction. Your addiction is the result of poor decisions.

“But wait!” you say. “That’s not fair! It’s not my fault! Blankety blank is responsible. If only…”

Now, stay with me on this! My point is not to make you feel worse, but to help. What’s done is done. Now you need to move forward.

It may very well be true that you did not choose the circumstances that led to your current situation. That is not the issue here. We’re not talking about the part other circumstances or individuals played. That’s the topic for another time. We’re only talking here about you and your part of the process that brought you here today.

Poor decisions are the reason you are where you are. Don’t beat yourself up about this. That’s not helpful. But it is helpful to accept the fact that you made decisions that weren’t in your best interest for the long term. If you’ve been blaming someone else, forget it. They can’t help you. But you can help yourself by accepting responsibility for making some bad decisions.

Now, don’t confuse making bad decisions with being a bad person. You are a good person who simply made some bad decisions. Everyone does. Click here to find out what kind of a person you really are (a good one!).

People say life is not fair. Maybe it’s not. But, life is good. (And in reality, life is probably more fair than we’re willing to admit. In spite of our own bad choices, we can still recover and find peace and joy. I promise!)

Accepting Responsibility

“So, what’s the big deal? What has accepting responsibility for my mistakes got to do with overcoming sexual addiction?”

When you accept responsibility, you let go of blame. You let go of blaming a person, or a circumstance, or life in general. Blame is a powerfully negative force that keeps you facing the wrong way. It inhibits your ability to change. When you let go of blame, you face the right way: forward.

So, bury the hatchet. Make some allowance statements for yourself. Say, “Yes. I made some mistakes. I was young. I was inexperienced. I misunderstood. Some things I didn’t choose. But, it was my choice to do what I have done.”

Contact me if you’d like more information on making allowance statements—a powerful tool in letting go, enjoying people and finding happiness. They’ll help in more ways than in overcoming sexual addiction. Here's the link to contact me.

Now that you’ve accepted responsibility for your part, you are facing forward. You’re ready to board the train toward complete recovery.

Right Thinking

Thoughts are what feed actions. Getting a handle on your thoughts is critical to overcoming sexual addiction. Click here for help about changing your thoughts.

Right thinking about life and recognizing life’s healthy components is absolutely essential in recovering from addictions.

Here is a list of life’s important elements. Pick the ones that inspire you the most now. Spend more time thinking about and doing things related to them.

family – your spouse, children, parents, brothers and sisters

friends – those others that you love and appreciate; your feelings toward them

faith – your beliefs, your feelings toward God and His blessings to you

work – what you enjoy doing

hobbies – your positive leisure pursuits

your noblest desires – what you feel drawn to do when you feel best about yourself and your abilities

If you think about what uplifts you, and if you make a good list of specific, positive thoughts and actions, you’re on your way. Keep the list close to you at all times and review it often.

Avoid thinking in terms of extremes. Look for the good. Find joy in little things.

Lighten up about life and your place in it. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Yes, life is important, and there are many demands that life places on you. But remember that there are many people in the world that are worse off than you and that are very happy. What they do is spend more time in the best things of life listed above.

A Game Plan

The key to overcoming sexual addiction is to implement a game plan that will enable you to win this battle.

Here’s a game plan that really works, a proven plan that can set you up to win. You or your loved one can be on the road to freedom from sexual addiction today.

Return from Overcoming Sexual Addiction to Addiction Recovery.

Return to Home: Overcoming Porn Addiction.

SBI!